Burger King Ribs, The McRib is Rolling Over in its Sweet and Saucy Grave

In case you haven't heard, Burger King has put "Fire Grilled" ribs (pork) on their menu. We are not talking a ground, extruded, and formed rib product (like the holy McRib, smile when you speak its name), I had heard that these were actual bone in pieces of rib meat. Of course I had to try them out and review. There is probably a torrent of BK rib reviews hitting the internets right now as offbeat fast food reviews have become quite de rigueur among the altern-y food blog set (remember the Double Down?), but I thought I would throw in my two cents anyhow.

I bought the 3 piece which is just under 3 bucks. The ribs come in a bag kind of like Chinese food spareribs.



Here is one of the little bastards.



The BK ribs are little 2 inch riblet kind of deals. All three put together would amount to 1 decently meaty rib anywhere else. The ribs are served un-sauced in their little baggy, but you get 2 packets of the standard BK barbecue sauce (aka, tangy corn syrup).



I took a bite without any of the sauce to get a feel for the meat. What we have here is a flaccid, fatty, chemically salty, pseudo smoky, frozen then thawed, chunk of rib "meat." Almost exactly what I was expecting from a Burger King rib. I decided to throw the sauce into the bag with the remaining ribs and shake them up, mayhaps this would improve the situation.



If you put sugar on your corn flakes, they are going to taste better. Same case here, the super sweet BBQ sauce renders the rib thingies slightly more palatable. Still kind of gross, but slightly improved.

Here is a rib bone, for proof that these were actual intact pieces of an animal.



The BK Fire Grilled Ribs are a thorough failure in my estimation, I don't think they are going to sell. They fly in the face of fast food philosophy as the things are relatively expensive and sloppy/difficult to eat. I get the whole transition to supposed "casual dining" that is going on in fast food marketing, but I just don't think people are ready for a product like this. I guess it is sort of a good idea to serve ribs at a fast food place, but this is just horrible execution. I think BK might have been trying to achieve the cult following of a product like McDonald's McRib (hallowed be its name). I lust for the return of the McRib, but I feel thoroughly un-lustful towards BK's ribs.

Look at all the time and effort I expended documenting a product that I knew was going to suck! All for science!

The Velvet Carrot

In my grand tradition of concocting compound cakes for summer cookouts (see here for the Brownie Cheesecake Cake Cake), I created the "Velvet Carrot." This is fairly simple, 1 layer of carrot cake and 1 layer of red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. I made everything from scratch, and was surprised to learn that there is buttermilk in most red velvet cake recipes. I have been a big red velvet cake fan for a while, but as I am a horrible baker, I have never looked at a recipe. You learn something new every day.

Here is the triumphant cakey bastard. I think the crushed walnuts around the outside are a nice touch, especially for spice cakes.



Here is a slice.



The cake went over pretty well, especially the frosting. There is nothing like fresh homemade cream cheese frosting. Also, my new thing is using actual vanilla beans for all of my baked goods. I put the guts of two whole beans in each of the components of this cake (velvet, carrot, and frosting). You can't beat real vanilla flavoring, even though all of the little bits of vanilla make your white frosting look a little muddy.

I don't know why, but I think people get a kick out of these kind of cake mashups. It is something different. Here is a bonus shot of last summers cake, I can't trust that you will click the above link and I want your day to benefit from its magnificence. Bask in it!

Well, La Di Da (Mirepoix at P-Chops)

I thought this was funny, don't know why. The first thing I saw upon walking into the Slingerlands-Chops (P-chops, if you don't know) the other day was a shrink wrapped container of "Mire Poix." Nothing against mirepoix, but this is funny. Apparently, Delmartian house-fraus can't be expected to brunoise their own carrots, onions, or celery.

I guess it is kind of good that P-chops is encouraging a certain level of culinary sophistication among the masses (mirepoix is pretty fundamental in my world, I hope that doesn't come off sounding snotty), but this anemic mess of vegetables looks a little sad to me. Expensive too, 2.42$ for a few ounces of veg...

My knives work, so I won't be purchasing this. Enough said.

Meals That Define a Life

Really, when you get down to it, what is life? To me the main rub has always been; gather nourishment for yourself, have wee uns', nourish the wee uns'. Everything else, (culture, self enlightenment, blah, blah...) is all ancillary, a "side dish" if you will (I have been making bad puns all morning, you will have to excuse me). Food and eating is about as basic to life as you can get. So it seems to me that there will be meals in your life that obtain, through their placement during your stumbling journey down life's path, a certain significance.

Many, when asked, "what meal will you really always (and truly) remember?" will spout gobshite at you about some precious dish at The French Laundry in 2007, or maybe even a delicious papusa that they had to battle Salvadoran drug lords to obtain. They are probably lying, I bet you down in their hearts there is some remembered PB&J served just right my their mammies that means way more. Below I will list a couple of my own special meals in order.

3. The "Jimmy Dean" meal I was served as a scared and young (oh how young) Army private upon arriving at reception battalion in the middle of the night in a strange Southern state (Halloween eve no less!). If you don't know, a "Jimmy Dean" is a particular meal served by the Army in those times that don't quite require an MRE, but hot chow is not practical. Weirdly enough, they don't involve any sort of sausage product. I haven't reviewed one on this blog but you can go look at my MRE and Heater Meal reviews to get kind of an idea. I had no idea at the time how truly life changing that decision (joining the Army, not eating the Jimmy Dean) would be, I am still trying to sort out in my mind how deeply it has affected me...

2. A simple salad of herbs, tomatoes, and fresh mozzarella that was served at my wedding after the absolutely ridiculous couple of hours of food preceding it. I remember thinking about how on this day of extreme emotions, chaos, and joy how comforting it was to have such a simple and delicious dish in front of me. As I am prone to assigning metaphors to almost anything I decided that this salad kind of represented my life's philosophy. My only real goal in life is to be a simple, and good man. I want no one to say, around the campfire, that Mr. Dave would not have ventured out to into the darkness to do battle with those things that go bump in the night to protect his kith and kin. This meal also makes me remember how lovely my wife looked in her dress.

1. The undisputed, most memorable food event in my life is pictured above. I must have known it was going to me forever etched in my brain, as I had the presence of mind to snap a photo. That right there is the first meal served to my wife after giving birth to my daughter. This was the first true family meal of our lives together. A simple affair of chicken, sweet potatoes, green beans, tea, soup, and milk, my still weak wife could not bear a bite. Always game for a meal, I happily munched through it whilst gazing at my wife and the wriggling munchkin who would become the mighty Giblet (now 16 months!).




Ahhhh, memories... What are yours? Tell me about your Madelines.

Four Corners Luncheonette (Delmar)

Went over to the Four Corners Luncheonette for a little breaky the other morn. This place is pretty much an institution among Delmar/Bethlehem folk (they celebrated their 30th anniversary with "Lunchapalooza" the other day), so as a recent immigrant to Delmar (from Guilderland), I felt the need to pay a visit. Going down for a meal has been on the back burner for several months because I am slightly agoraphobic, and this place gets packed during prime breakfast times. I ended up going on a Monday at about 10:30 and this seems to be about the perfect time to go if you don't want to be jostled or wait for a table.

The inside of the restaurant is homey and pleasant.



Me and the wife ordered fairly standard breakfasts. She had scrambled and bacon, and I had 4 poached with bacon. I attempted to get a picture of the poached eggs (if you have been reading you will know that egg poaching ability is my litmus test for a breakfast joint), but the glistening bastards reflected all of the light. You will just have to trust me on the fact that they were adequately poached.



The bacon and has hash browns were fairly run of the mill, but thoroughly satisfying.



I happened to notice that the wive's scrambled eggs were a shockingly vibrant shade of yellow. Didn't want to be all weird and ask the waitress where Four Corners gets their eggs, but I have a feeling they are of quality production.



I was inducted into the clean plate club at this breakfast and the usually peckish wife made a fair dent in her meal. I would definitely make a return visit, as there was some crazy breakfast club sandwich thing on the menu that I would like to try. It also looks like the place does a decent lunch/dinner besides breakfast. They even advertise some New York wines.



I really enjoyed the Four Corners Luncheonette, the food was solid and it was just an overall pleasant experience. I get a kick out of homey touches and personal kindness and you get plenty of this here. I especially liked the bean can flowers I spotted on the way out.



That is all, just another review of a quality and independent local business. Bless them with your patronage yon readers.

A Discussion Carried Over From Fussy Man's Blog

Fussy Daniel over at The Fussy Little Blog has started a discussion about the supposed lack of "Culinary Sophistication" in the fair City of Albany (click here to read). He and other readers have a couple theories and I don't necessarily agree with them on some of their points. The whole discussion did get me thinking about why things are how they are in the culinary realm of the Capital Region. I will paste my response containing a couple of my own theories below, I am very interested in the opinion of others in regards to this issue. Tell me what you think here or go over to the Fussy Blog and get in on the discussion there.

Oh yeah, kudos to Daniel for beginning to read William Kennedy. I have read pretty much everything the man has ever written, and he truly is a local treasure. He captures the pathos of life in Albany like no other. I still plan to recreate the route that Francis Phelan took in the "sharp cheese sandwich" passage from Ironweed (while eating a sharp cheese sandwich, of course).

mr.dave-

When I think about things like this, I don’t really consider Albany as separate from the greater Capital Region. I kind of feel like we are a super region consisting of Albany/Troy/Schenectady/Rensselaer and all of the suburbs/exurbs therein. Therefore I think that analogies between the City of Albany and other cities of similar size in different states to be not that helpful in understanding issues such as this.

To me, the plight of our home region is similar to the issues of a city like Detroit, or even our very own Buffalo. If you want to understand the relative lack of “culinary sophistication (a subjective and dubious term)” you need look no further than the wholesale “flying of the coop” of heavy industry in the years following WWII. The entire area became unable to support the kind of urban upper and middle class households that would tend to support food philosophies that included more then filling bellies. There were immigrant/ethnic groups that supported their own cuisines locally, but not in the kind of numbers you would have seen in other major industrial areas.

But this is not explanation enough, you have to look deeper. The substrate culture that we have locally is an interesting case. I would say that people like me, Anglo/Scots/Irish types with routes in the area going back a couple hundred years, have much more in common culturally with inland New England then with the rest of New York. Just as parts of Central New York probably have more in common with the Dutch/German influences of Pennsylvania. This means the historically local cuisine was probably of your “beans and bacon” and “boiled dinner” type, i.e. simple and English influenced fare. Albany folk (not newcomers, people who have roots and were raised here) are simply stated, meat and potatoes folks whether they know it or not (or are even willing to stop affecting airs and admit it). Not that this is a bad thing, look at me, I celebrate it.

I also think there is a built in suspicion here of restaurants/food with real or imagined pretentiousness. We are stodgy folk and don’t appreciate people “putting on airs.” For better or worse, this is just kind of how it is.

My final point would be to look outside the urban areas to the suburbs, which will inevitably have a kind of bleed back influence on the cities. We live in an absolute wasteland of suburban sprawl, I shiver every time I drive through Clifton Park. It is Walmart, Panera, Target, Starbucks, or some pattern of chains repeated ad infinitum where ever you go. People are generally secure in their subdivisions and loathe to venture out. Certain well heeled locals often get an urge to gussy up and go somewhere “fancy” and head to Angelo’s or the like, they expect “fancy” food to cost money and restaurants are not afraid to capitalize on this. Simply stated, sometimes people just want to drop a lot of money on dinner to prove their financial worths to themselves or others. They are not really concerned with the philosophy behind the food.

These are just some of my thoughts, in any event the whole discussion is kind of mental masturbation. It is beautiful out today and I saw a Karner Blue on my morning run, everyone should go outside. I am going to have grilled cod and salt potatoes tonight with some early sweet corn. My culinary level of sophistication is just fine with me, the wife, and the lovely daughter.

Grandma Brown's Baked Beans

Ever seen these old timey' yellow cans of Grandma Brown's Home Baked Beans at the store? They come in a couple of sizes, one of them being a gigantic, triumphant, "family size" can. I always pass by them and chuckle at the attractive ugliness of the label design.



Did you know that these bad boys are an Upstate New York product, straight out of scenic Mexico, New York (kind of by Oswego)? I have actually been to Mexico, it's god's country there.

I am a big bean fan (read my recent porky recipe here), but I find it fairly simple to make my own. I rarely find the need to buy a canned product, but when convenience calls I go for Grandma Brown's. Reading the list of ingredients you will find no chemicals/additives/preservatives. As you know, simplicity is my watchword and water, navy beans, brown sugar, salt, bacon and baking soda are all that's in the can.



These are wonderful baked beans, simple and tasty. On their own the beans are great as a side dish, but many people also use them as a starting point for whatever strange and wonderful bean recipes that have been passed down through the generations. I don't like to futz with them too much. My favorite is to thinly slice in some regular ol' hot dogs (Stewart's Deli Dogs in this case) to make a mess of what I have always referred to as Beanies and Weenies.



Into the oven for a few and you are all set. This kind of goes into the what do you eat that is kind of gross and you are a little ashamed of category of foods that I like. I also have been know to get a can of the bean soup with bacon-



and eat it cold with tortilla chips as a bean dip of sorts.

Anyhow, Grandma Brown's products are good, wholesome, and from small town New York. So eschew the Bush's and Campbell's and pick up that ugly yellow and brown can of Grandma's beans for your memorial day cookout (Price Chopper and the Delmar Marketplace have them). If you are an outlander than you can get them off of the wonderful Taste of CNY (Central New York) website that I discovered.

Tastee Freez Chili Dog

I was down at Jim's Tastee Freez in Delmar getting my young one a junior cone (twist, rainbow jimmes) the other evening. As promised in my last Tastee Freez post, I decided to sample one of their Chili Dogs (I heard they were good). Here it is, a plain dog with chili-



The chili appeared a little thicker/pastier than I am accustomed to, kind of like if you get the tail end of the chili from the Chili Cauldron at Stewart's and most of the moisture has evaporated. I was undeterred and took a hearty bite.



This is a decent dog, the chili was a little over salted and under spiced, but not bad. One major departure from the tenants of my hot dog philosophy by Tastee Freez is that they toasted the bun, as opposed to my preference for a steamed bun. No matter, different strokes for different folks. It takes all kinds, it takes all kinds.

(For unending posts that involve me blathering about hot dogs, click here)

Lovely Daughter = Free Cheese

The Wife and the indomitable Giblet were perusing the goods at an Adirondack Cheese Company (I give you their facebook as the website seems to be on the fritz) table the other day. Adirondack Cheese had set up shop at some unknown Thruway rest-stop Farmer's Market between Monroe and Selkirk, the Wife forgot which one.

Goodwife Mrs. Dave happened to notice that they were selling various mustards along with the cheese. Knowing my inhuman mustard lust, the wife was looking over a bottle of horseradish mustard. It was then that the gentleman proprietor noticed young Giblet. He asked her her name, and my young minion responded with a hearty "hiiiiiii!!!" and gave him her award winning smile. Won over by her unbearably cute husky baby voice and her toothy grin, the wonderful man decided to bequeath upon my other half the above pictured block of cheese, gratis (no charge).

Besides the fact that my small family was touched by this act of simple human kindness, the cheese was very good. When I hear "Buffalo" flavored something, I usually expect a vaguely spicy, vinegar-y, red colored something or other. This particular cheese was aggressively spicy (I will say hot, and I am no wilting lily) with very nice cheddar flavor. I have actually, in the past, tried the very same Adirondack horseradish mustard my wife was looking at. That stuff is no joke either, think Coleman's English on steroids. I respect a company that is not afraid to clear your sinuses. Try them out.

Snappy Grillers are Back! Also, Mr. Dave Tries an Out of State Hot Dog Sauce

I love the beginning of summer. You begin to see all of the traditional "cookout" foods appearing in the grocery stores again after the long winter (like the Salt Potatoes I posted about yesterday).

I was excited to spy some Hofmann's Snappy Grillers at the local P-Chops yesterday. Snappy Grillers hail from Syracuse and are a cousin of the slightly more famous Rochester White Hots (Zwiegel's are the best). Both are veal/pork sausages with a characteristic mellow flavor and white hue. This style of hot dog is probably directly derived from the German Weisswurst, indicative of the strong German influence in Central/Western New York. Rolf's Pork Store in Albany does another variation known as Whitewurst, which is a little chubbier than the others.



Out of the pantheon of hot dog sausages that I feel very strongly about, whitewurst/snappy grillers/white hots are highly regarded, probably only being surpassed by our beloved local dinky dogs. The best way to serve the Snappy Grillers is grilled up till brown and crisped and than put on a steamed bun with a little good mustard. Doesn't get much better than that.



Now, it is usually foreign to me to sully as beautiful a sausage as a Snappy Griller with a condiment of an unknown provenance, but curiosity got the better of me. I keep seeing the Tallarico brand "Coney Island Hot Dog Sauce" at the grocery store between the Sabrett's onions in sauce and the Hot Dog Charlie's meat sauce (both venerable and time tested hot dog accompaniments). Initially, two things made me suspicious of this product. One, the stuff is from Pennsylvania and two, it says "great for tacos" on the label. How a hot dog sauce can double as a taco condiment is beyond me, but I will try anything once.

It was only after I got home that I read the ingredients and instructions. I was a little dismayed that the heating instructions included chopping up an onion and a pepper and cooking it in the sauce for 10 minutes. Onions (I digress, raw and maybe even grilled onions are acceptable in certain applications) and peppers, in my mind, have no place on a hot dog. Another upsetting fact about the Tallarico's product is that, alas, it is tomato based. I generally don't like anything tomato based touching my dogs (ketchup, I am looking at you). As loath as I was to desecrate a sublime sausage like the Snappy Griller, I threw caution to the wind and dumped a couple tablespoons of the stuff (heated) on one.



I just don't get this style of sauce, it tastes like slightly spicy "spaghetti" sauce. I would rather eat this on pasta than on a hot dog. With the onions and peppers thrown in maybe this would be good on a "sausage and peppers" type sandwich (utilizing hot Italian sausage), but I don't like it on the Snappy Griller and I don't think it would be any better on a Frankfurter. If you are going to do hot dog "chili" buy it from Charlie's, Gus', or Famous'. Alternately, do your own take on my Capital Region style hot dog chili recipe.

Hinerwadel Salt Tatties

Chalk up Salt Potatoes as another indigenous Upstate New York (specifically, Central New York) food that, in my younger days, I thought every American enjoyed in the early summer. It never dawned on me that these were peculiar to the region. Read the above linked Wiki article for the history of salt potatoes.

Usually around early May you will start seeing the white Hinerwadel brand bags of Salt Potatoes at the grocery stores.



In the bag you get a bunch of young, white potatoes and a giant sachet of salt.



The directions are simple, dump the salt pack into about 4 quarts of water, bring to a boil, throw in the potatoes and let it go for twenty or twenty-five minutes. A hallmark of the salt potato cooking process are the white streaks you will get down the side of your pot from the bubbling salt water.



You are probably thinking, "Potatoes? and salt? This is considered some sort of special dish?" I can't explain it, and maybe there is some sort of chemistry involved, but these particular potatoes cooked in the saturated salt water somehow come out different than other boiled tatties. Throw some melted butter on top of the tatties and you have a dish worthy of a king.



The firm skins kind of snap between your teeth, yielding to the salty and tender insides. Salt potatoes are great with any sort of grilled meat, and do a more than middlin' job at soaking up 8 or 9 afternoon cookout beers. Try them, I have seen the Hinerwadel bad boys at P-Chops so far.

HamBeens

If you will remember, I purchased a big hunk of Oscar's Smokehouse smoked pork loin last week. After several days of feasting on lovely slices of that beautiful porky bastard,



I had some left overs. This seemed to me to a perfect opportunity to whip up a mess of old timey' pork n' beans. I love pork and beans and feel very strongly about the fact that it should consist of pretty much just pork and beans. Versions with maple syrup, brown sugar, ketchup, bbq sauce, etc... have their place, but sometimes I want a simpler, purer pot of beans.

I began with the above pictured HamBeens brand pintos. I am a sucker for retro packaging, and I will buy HamBeens everytime (they also make HamPees). I take the packet of "Artificial Ham Flavor" and save it for some other ham-y purpose, perhaps to sprinkle on my cornflakes. There are many schools on bean cookery, but for this version I use the quick method. Throw the beans in a bunch of water and bring to a boil, turn off the heat, and let sit for an hour.



The ends of the smoked pork loin are the best for beans, in addition to the pork flavor you get a good amount of smokiness. I dice the pork fairly fine, a cup or so of pork will do nicely for a bag of beans.



After the beans have been sitting for an hour, drain and rinse well. Here I insert a strange bean making ritual that I am not sure really makes sense, but I do it anyways. I bring the beans to a boil again in fresh water for 45 minutes, and then drain and rinse a second time. This is prior to any salt, seasoning, or ham additions. It is only now that I add fresh water, ham, a whole onion (halved), and some ground pepper (still no salt).



Bring to a simmer and cook until the beans are completely tender and are beginning to break down into a creamy, hammy, sloppy mess. It is only at this point that you add salt, be generous, 1 to 2 teaspoons depending on your taste.



These are versatile beans. They possess a beautiful smoky pork flavor and can be used in a myriad of dishes. I like them over some white rice topped with some crispy bacon bits (for texture). They are also good in burritos/tacos/juevos rancheros. Alternately, they can be thinned out with broth or water for a kick ass bean soup.