You know, I actually remember really liking TGIFridays when I was a kid. My parents would take me to the one in Stuyvesant Plaza on occasion. I think they used to prepare some decent bar type food, my favorite order was chicken fried steak and the peanut butter milkshake. That was probably in the late 80s or early 90s when they still had all the neat old crap on the walls. I rarely go there since the slick repackaging of the place, I just don't like it.
Anyhow, you have probably spotted their line of appetizers in the frozen section of your grocery store. The other day I spotted these "Anytime Sliders." They come in two flavors, "Caramelized Sweet Onion" and "Smokey BBQ." I went with the onion guys. The slider fad is definitely sweeping through the freezer section, even Hot Pocket has entered the market. However, no one has come close to approaching the supremacy of the White Castle frozen or fresh sliders, in either price or quality.
I paid 4.48$ for this box of 4 sliders. Opening it up we find large-ish slider pods.
I was a little surprised at the size, they are pretty big. Much bigger than a White Castle (the slider against which all others should be measured). Here it is in my hand for reference.
Buried underneath we have two wee packets of "caramelized sweet onion" sauce. Looks like Chinese food duck sauce to me. Notice there are only two packets for 4 burgers. Reading the microwave instructions got my panties in a bunch. They tell you to microwave 1 slider at time for 50 seconds, it is not recommended that you microwave more than 1 at a time. Nonsense! Am I supposed to live with this complicated process! If they are going to make these a one at a time product, my lazy ass damn well wants 4 sauce packets. So there.
I reluctantly followed the instructions and microwaved 1 slider for the requisite time. Here we have the cooked product.
I took a bite, no sauce at first to get a sense for general slider quality.
See the thickness of that burger patty! That ain't no slider, that is a freaking small burger. Why do people not understand that there is more to a slider than the small size? For all questions regarding this I recommend that TGIFriday's food scientists, go to freaking White Castle. Aaaargh! (I have been reduced to pirate noises)
After my little tantrum I squeezed on some of the sauce. It literally tasted like pure unadulterated corn syrup, with a little food dye. Actually very much like a less flavorful packet of Chinese takeout duck sauce. Lame. These sucked, very badly. Can't think of any redeeming qualities. They are over a buck each when you break it down. If you want a small burger for over a buck, just go to McDonald's or something.
To cleanse your mental palate, here is a picture of what a slider is meant to be.
Dear Mr. Dave Sir. I am going to invent for you a fine Ren'tler-ian afternoon for a Saturday after your 2nd seed drops.
ReplyDeleteIn this vision, you start by driving to Wynantskill, to Pawling Ave, wherein you stop at Jack's Drive In (Note that their seasonal operation will place limits on the month in which this occurs). You procure a number of "Cheese With" (this is a smallish hamburger patty with cheese, catsup and tons of caramelized onions on a toasted Freihoffer-style roll) and a "Large French" (this is a plate of fries covered in catsup).
After you have completed consumption of these wonders, you wind your way up Mountainview Rd to Moxie's, a fantastic little ice cream join that is also highly seasonal (Labor Day Maybe?). Your oldest will enjoy the custom wooden simulacra of the playground; all will enjoy the highly inventive homemade iced cream and spring water.
This is a special pilgrimage of the DASMB house, a sampling of the Only Things we Miss about living east of the River. Well, the Only Things that aren't the Garlic Lover's Corner, Off-Shore Pier or Hennessy Homebrew emporium.